An old college friend just caught me on Facebook chat as I was sending messages. He said he was part of a 24 hour pryr thing at his chrch and wanted to know how they could remember us. I gave him a few things and he replied, "will bring this before Dad right now." It was such a humbling experience.
I know that a lot of you lift us up on a very regular basis and to be honest we take that for granted at times. It was such a vivid and tangible reminder of that and I once again found myself so thankful that we are not in this alone, but are encouraged and prayed for so often by you. Thanks for thinking of us and for lifting us up. The circumstances aren't always easy, but we continue to have such peace about being here and we are constantly reminded of Dad's faithfulness. It's a good feeling, so thanks.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Don't You Dare!!!
My husband is banned from getting close to scissors for...quite a while! Here I thought I only had to look out for one boy...but apparently it is two!
Little t has developed the cutest little curl in the back and as his hair grows it gets bigger and curlier. I love it and everyone is raving about it. A continues to threaten to cut it off "because I won't raise a son with a rat tail!" Hardly a rat tail and oh so very cute...I keep threatening that he will be in BIG trouble if he cuts it off! I am trying very very hard to get a good picture of it to show you, but I just can't seem to do it justice. In the meantime, I am being very careful to keep scissors away from...both boys!
Little t has developed the cutest little curl in the back and as his hair grows it gets bigger and curlier. I love it and everyone is raving about it. A continues to threaten to cut it off "because I won't raise a son with a rat tail!" Hardly a rat tail and oh so very cute...I keep threatening that he will be in BIG trouble if he cuts it off! I am trying very very hard to get a good picture of it to show you, but I just can't seem to do it justice. In the meantime, I am being very careful to keep scissors away from...both boys!
Puts A Smile On My Face...
- Little t interacted beautifully with the cleaning lady this morning (will blog more about her soon). I didn't tell him she was coming so he was a little surprised. Though he sat on my lap most through most of the interaction, he told her hi and proceeded to talk her ear off for 15 minutes (complete with wagging his finger at her)...so she has passed the likeability test apparently! He really really does well interacting with people here. I try to go over to the office to have lunch with the female staff that work for Andy once a week. He LOVES these women and goes from one to the next, crawling into their laps, talking their ears off, etc. Makes me happy that he is so relaxed with them because then I can enjoy the time interacting with them as well. They, of course, are crazy about him...but then again, how could you not be?
- We had our weekly meeting at our house yesterday morning...it was special to have the team (though small in numbers) fill our little house with warmth and songs and pryr. It was a great time of fellowship.
- G and M - the two guards who work in our yards (they are not armed so guards is kind of a misleading term, but there isn't another good explanation for them...they watch the houses and yards, answer the gate, go to the bazaar, fill water tanks, shovel snow, etc.) are good friends. Before this week the weather has been beautiful and they were often seen on their lunch break soaking up the sun. M - our guard has a chair that he puts in the sun to sit in, G used the day and a few sticks to construct a bench between two tree trunks. They enjoyed their break in the beauty of the day.
- Overheard recently while watching two of our guards walk through the yard... "you do it" said the younger (50ish) one -G to the older (65is) one - M. "no, I am not going to, you do it," replied M. "Fine I will," shot back G as he headed toward the trampoline. Next thing I knew he had hopped onto the trampoline and was giggling like a girl as he tried to keep his balance and jump at the same time. M watched from the ground chuckling to himself. I watched from the kitchen as I did dishes doubled over with laugher! After a minute or so G got off, straightened his clothes and sauntered off to continue his work...with a little grin.
- We are going out to supper tonight! There a few other foreigners in town and they have invited us to their compound for supper...we don't get out much, so this is very exciting!
- The fact that little t is just now waking up from a 2 1/2 hour nap...and in that time, I have worked-out, showered, eaten lunch, cleared up from lunch and had time to write e-mails and this blog...Good day!
- We had our weekly meeting at our house yesterday morning...it was special to have the team (though small in numbers) fill our little house with warmth and songs and pryr. It was a great time of fellowship.
- G and M - the two guards who work in our yards (they are not armed so guards is kind of a misleading term, but there isn't another good explanation for them...they watch the houses and yards, answer the gate, go to the bazaar, fill water tanks, shovel snow, etc.) are good friends. Before this week the weather has been beautiful and they were often seen on their lunch break soaking up the sun. M - our guard has a chair that he puts in the sun to sit in, G used the day and a few sticks to construct a bench between two tree trunks. They enjoyed their break in the beauty of the day.
- Overheard recently while watching two of our guards walk through the yard... "you do it" said the younger (50ish) one -G to the older (65is) one - M. "no, I am not going to, you do it," replied M. "Fine I will," shot back G as he headed toward the trampoline. Next thing I knew he had hopped onto the trampoline and was giggling like a girl as he tried to keep his balance and jump at the same time. M watched from the ground chuckling to himself. I watched from the kitchen as I did dishes doubled over with laugher! After a minute or so G got off, straightened his clothes and sauntered off to continue his work...with a little grin.
- We are going out to supper tonight! There a few other foreigners in town and they have invited us to their compound for supper...we don't get out much, so this is very exciting!
- The fact that little t is just now waking up from a 2 1/2 hour nap...and in that time, I have worked-out, showered, eaten lunch, cleared up from lunch and had time to write e-mails and this blog...Good day!
Friday, January 14, 2011
2010 Recap
I know that I am late, but am finally posting this...
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before? Went to Mexico! A always teases me that I have traveled a lot, but have never been to Mexico…but he can tease no more because I have arrived, baby!
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I wasn’t really thinking about new year’s resolutions this time last year… I have some things in mind that I would like to be more diligent in this year – completing the yearly bible reading, being more consistent with healthy eating and exercise, brushing little t’s teeth every day, communication with family and friends, making friendships here, etc.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yeah, my dear friend Grace had her little boy. Two of my cousins had babies.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Unfortunately this was a bad year for us…we had six friends from our organization here die this last year. One died from carbon monoxide poisoning – she was 21. 5 others were killed on August 5th when the group of 10 were murdered. It was a painful year.
5. What countries did you visit? Wow, I feel boring on this one this year! Only A-stan and Mexico. 2009 was better – Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, U.A.E., A-stan…that sounds more like my life!
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn't have in 2010? More consistent devotional time… I am bad, people. I know that I am put in that category of missys (even though that isn’t what we are…we are here professionally, remember?) that are supposed to be super-spiritual…but it just isn’t true. I want that daily time, I NEED that daily time…it has to happen.
7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why? I can’t think of the specific dates right now...just the events.
- The day we bought our house.
- The three days (in January, Julyish and late August/early September) when we looked at each other and said, “we have to go back” and knew that we would wind up here again.
- The days right after those that sent our world tumbling down and us wondering if that would be a possibility. January - really struggling with little t and feeling like we couldn’t even parent him well in the States, how in the world would we be able to do it here!, July – security gets terrible and our sending org questions our ability to be here and then August 5 when our friends are killed.
- August 5 will forever be etched in my memory. We were in Goodwill on our way home from speaking at a large conference (we had had a great week and were excited about what was next…we were actually talking on the way home about booking our tickets to return here). In Goodwill A took a phone call and I will never forget him saying “yeah I know them, why? They have been killed?!?” The color drained out of his face and he blindly grabbed a rack of clothes to steady himself on. When we got out to the car, he didn’t talk for 5 minutes as he started off into the distance before telling me about our friends. When we got home that night, A looked at me and said, “I hope you like our house because we aren’t going anywhere, we can’t go back there after this”. It was a very painful day.
- The following day, August 6 was just as painful. We were quietly and internally dealing with the news the night before (we had been told it was still confidential so we hadn’t shared it with anyone) only to wake up to calls and texts from family who had heard the news…suddenly our small bubble of grief and safety was burst open and the wound became much bigger and more painful as we had to share with others, answer questions, justify everything, explain unknowns, etc. I remember feeling alone because noone around us really understood but everyone had questions, reasons we shouldn’t go back thoughts and opinions on the matter, etc. It was a painful.
- A week or so later our very dear friends Daniel and Renee came to visit. That was a day of healing – to sit and be honest with them, to talk and cry and vent and scream about what we were feeling and going through.
- A day in late August where we met with our boss in Colorado Springs about future direction. We were tired and went into the meetings knowing that our hearts were telling us we needed to return, but knowing that the murders of our friends and security were major strikes against us…our boss looked at us and basically said, “we believe the Father wants you there and is leading you in that way. What can we do to make that happen because we are behind you all the way.” We were in shock but our hearts were so full of peace and thankfulness and joy.
- Three days before Christmas A talked on the phone with the parents of his good friend G who was killed…that was another painful day, but one that brought much healing…I could tell from a distance that their conversation was very good for both ends and just had a sacredness to it.
- Our last time in Blairsburg with our chrch family there was a good day. There was such a sense of peace and the Father’s presence as we left.
- I could go on and on…it was a big year for us…even though we only traveled to A-stan and Mexico! J
8. What was your biggest achievement of this year? Learning to listen and wait in big ways…we worked through a lot of uncertainty and grief. We healed and grew in a lot of ways…there was just a quiet steadiness to what the Father was doing and I am proud of us for not getting impatient and rushing it, but believing that in His time He would show us the way and He did…and here we are!
9. What was your biggest failure? Interaction/communication with siblings.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No, I had a pretty healthy year, thankfully.
11. What was the best thing you bought? Our house – and we love it…and can’t wait for other people who work overseas to be able to use it…so a shout-out to you all…if you need a place in central Iowa for when you are home, let us know!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My mom’s…she was just amazing on the trip. She took everything in stride, she smiled through everything, she was so helpful. It was just a joy to have the time with her. There were a lot of things she could have had a terrible attitude about, but she was wonderful.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The people from Kansas who protested soliders’ funerals…not okay at all.
14. Where did most your money go? Baby, house, coming here.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Seeing old friends again…it was SO fun to catch up with people and share my family with them…I really enjoyed it.
16. What song will always remind you of 2010? I couldn’t come up with one…
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Happier, thinner, about the same (not worried about being rich, though)
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Enjoyed little t in the first few months instead of just stressing about him…tried to make it possible for him to spend more time with my siblings. Went on dates with my husband. Spent more time with good friends.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Worried about little t, tried to justify how we felt the Father calling us to people who would never really get it anyway.
20. How did you spend Christmas? We had family Christmas before we left the states and had a lot of fun. We spent Christmas Eve and Day with the team here and unpacking boxes.
21. Did you fall in love with 2009? I came to love and appreciate A in so many new ways this year…don’t know what I would do without him. Little t stole my heart this year as well…what a guy.
22. What was your favorite TV program? We got really into the Apprentice…A was convinced he could win the show…and we watched the Office…and when we were at A’s grandparent’s house we watched a lot of HGTV…totally addicting!
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Hate is a strong word…no, can’t say that I do. I take it back…I currently hate the washing machine (that yes, I am in love with) for stopping midcycle when the electricity went out…that is a lot of very wet clothes…thankfully it rinsed them before it stopped!
24. What was the best book you read? Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah….oh my goodness…it still gives me goosebumps… also, Not For Sale by David Batstone. It is about the global slave trade and will infuriate you, make you sick, humble you, convict you. I really believe that every person needs to read it while asking the Father what they should be doing in light of it. Read it, I dare you.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? That I would pay more money to listen to Aaron and Nikki Petersen sing than I would Selah…true story.
26. What did you want and get? A House. We used some money being passed down to us that needed to be invested to buy an hold house in a small town in Iowa. When we got married, we started talking about getting a house to have for when we were home in the States. So, we just keep looking and waiting for the right thing to come along. In January or 2010 we actually found our house and the price was right (dirt cheap – all we could afford) and we got it. It was such a blessing to have our own place to be and we look forward to our kids having a stable place to return to when we go back to the States to visit. Also, we wanted it to be available to other people who work overseas when we are not there, so it is available if anyone needs it.
27. What did you want and not get? To be completely back in shape after having little t. I am a pretty athletic person, so I didn’t think it would be hard for me to lose the weight and get back in shape…but I was wrong. Still working on it , unfortunately. Really looking for effective and creative ways here, cause I don’t get out much…
28. What was your favorite film of 2010? I don’t even know what films came out last year…but films we watched that we liked…Australia, Blindside…there was another one, but I can’t think of it now.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 28. We were in Illinois at the cabin that my Dad’s family has (where his mom lived before she passed away). We had been very very busy for a few months and were tired of traveling, so we almost didn’t go, but it was such a great and relaxing time. We just soaked in the quietness and beauty of the lake, went out on the boat, spent time with my Aunt (she took us out to eat on my birthday – thanks Aunt Jane!) watched movies, and just chilled. It was really a great few days and we were so glad we took the time in the end.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? I can’t really think of anything…I am sad that A and I didn’t get to have a night or weekend just to ourselves without little t before we came back here, but I can’t say that it would have made it immeasurably more satisfying…just would have been nice.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010? Blah… I don’t really spend money on clothes (only will shop thrift stores, sales, etc.). I especially felt that way this last year when we knew we wouldn’t be there long, had just had a baby and wanted to lose weight and get back into shape. So it was just kind of take what I could get and it worked, I was clothed and that is what matters right? In my more selfish/materialistic moments, I really wanted to rush out and get cute stuff to wear, but didn’t.
32. What kept you sane? A and our parents…and the Father’s still small voice. I can’t really describe it, but it was a year of Him quietly speaking and moving and it was very beautiful to be in tune to that. We never felt rushed to make decisions, we never had monumental moments of learning or growth or even knowing what was coming next, but it was a constant abiding. It was hard at times because the big booming voice is always more convincing, convicting and trustworthy, right? But there was such a steadiness to is that was so beautiful to be a part of.
33. What political issue stirred you the most? I would have to say the war…it was a very odd feeling to have been here and then to be home and see what the general public in the west is told and what they believe and how that dictates their reactions, decisions, etc. The more I saw both sides, the more I struggled with the idea of the conflict in general…I get the arguments for both sides…I have heard them all enough. But I also get that this is people’s lives - humans we are talking about here and I think that gets lost too often on both sides of the fence. So, I was stirred in my thoughts and beliefs about that more than anything, I think.
34. Who did you miss? People who work here with us. It was hard to be back in the States, to be honest. We were traveling a lot, we didn’t really fit in (part of us never settled too much because we knew we wouldn’t be there long) because our lives and experiences are so different…we just see the world very differently – for better or worse. Not that we didn’t enjoy our time in the States, it was wonderful, but there were times (like after our friends were killed) when we struggled to find people who could relate on a deep heart level. I also missed my dear friend Steph a lot, she has been such a huge influence and encouragement in our lives and missed spending time with her. I also missed family. Our families are so spread out, so it was hard to be in the States, but not spend as much time with my family as I would have liked.
35. Who was the best new person you met? Tara L. I had heard about her a while ago and had been stalking her blog for quite some time, so it was awesome to finally be able to meet her. I so appreciated being able to spend time with her and her husband, it was one of those connections where you “get” each other right away and A and I were so thankful for that at the time (and still are). We really admire Tara and her family for the work they do and the sacrifices they make to bring hope and healing to the people of Haiti – good work friends!
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010. I think I learned a lot about the value of life and how much our Father loves people. I also learned a lot about His unchanging nature and was really blessed and challenged by that this last year.
37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Again, couldn’t think of one.
Currently...
Okay, I must admit that I am cheesy and really like filling out surveys, etc. I liked this one I found on the web as a way of telling what is going on in my life currently...hence the title. So, there you have it.
Current Books: I am reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan…I like it so far. I am interested to get into it more. I am also reading a book called The Places In Between by Rory Stewart. He is a man from Scotland who walked across Central Asia, from Turkey to Bangladesh. The book is about his walk between Herat and Kabul, by foot in the middle of winter. I find it really interesting because we have been to the places he writes about and it is fascinating to read another person’s account of that fascinating part of the world. I am also trying hard to read through the Bible this year (I usually get halfway through and then get far behind and give up on the goal). I am trying to read it in the Message version.
Current Play List: I am really enjoying the new albums by Jeremy Camp and Chris Tomlin, as well as the new ones by Downhere and Sanctus Real. When we aren’t living in the States, A and I get each other music for Christmas gifts so we are overflowing with new goodies to enjoy these days.
Current Guilty Pleasure: Running water – hot showers (really nice hot showers) and a washing machine. I can put up with a LOT if I can have a decent hot shower once a week…to have two really nice hot showers a week…I am feeling WAY spoiled! And the washing machine – to be able to put a load of clothes in and have them washed and clean in an hour or hour and a half, (provided we don’t run out of water in the tank or the electricity doesn’t go off), is the greatest thing ever!
Current Color: Because everything is a drab brown here, I am really enjoying color these days, especially purple and a light blue…the colors of my new curtains (thanks Mom!) . I will put pictures up soon cause they are amazing!
Current Drink: Am not drinking enough water! Need to be better about that. Usually have coffee in the morning with cream, sugar and a little hazelnut vanilla flavoring. In the afternoon usually have a cup of tea. My faves right now are Stash Licorice Spice and Good Earth Organic Sweet and Spicy Organic Tea.
Current Food: Loving the oranges here, and kiwis – just got a whole crate of kiwis and they are wonderful!
Current Favorite Shows: The Office is the only thing we watch now. We just got a t.v. Rumor has it we can get a few channels (BBC, other local language stations) for a few dollars a month. So who knows, maybe I will become addicted to some “serial”/soap opera from here?!? My secret wish is that I will be able to find Sesame Street for little t.
Current Wish list: That our other boxes would come in the mail, our own bedroom (we share with little t right now…it is manageable but noisy), better communication with my siblings, and the ability to walk around freely.
Current Needs: Vanilla extract, more focus to get tasks done around the house during the day.
Current Triumphs: We are here! A and I worked out last night – it is going to become a regular thing and that makes me happy.
Current Bane Of My Existence: Cheap and poorly made disposable diapers…I am tired of all of the blowouts, people!!! Waiting patiently until the rest of the cloth diapering stuff gets here so we can put an end to this because it is out of control! And my hair…but what else is new?
Current Indulgence: A very quiet and peaceful house – the first house we have lived in overseas that has been this quiet…it is such a joy. Internet…feeling very spoiled these days…and a little too lazy to tell you the truth.
Current Blessing: My boys – they make me smile. The time with my mom.
Current Outfit: Still in my p.j.’s to be honest…will change that soon.
Current Excitement: Hearing A so excited about his work…makes me very happy. Little t learning and doing new things every day.
Current Mood: Content – life isn’t perfect, but it is good.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Little t Lately
I am sure there are some of you readers who patiently check in each time I announce an update with fervent hopes that it is about the cutest member of our family. I am writing with you in mind today. It is hard to believe that a year ago today Jan 8, 2010, this was little t…very little, very puny, very tired (notice the bags on this kid, poor thing’s parents hadn’t figured out yet how to get him to sleep). I can still remember those days, though they are quite foggy…long long nights, all of us getting to know each other, trying to figure this whole new world out.
And here we are today. I almost can’t even believe that this is the same boy! While he has always been wonderful, A and I are enjoying little t in fresh new ways each day it seems. What is he up to you ask? I thought I would show you in pictures…
Here is the birthday boy – fresh in this crazy country. This was taken the morning of his birthday, our first morning in K-town. What a handsome little man he is! And yes, that wall is pink...
This is at his party later in the guesthouse. Some friends made a cake for him, we sang, had presents, the whole nine yards. He was still pretty tired, so was slightly out of it, but seemed to have a good time.
Little t wanted to help big time with the moving and unpacking…he was constantly into suitcases or boxes; pulling stuff out, dragging it around the room, adding stuff to suitcases and boxes that didn’t belong, or in this case, climbing all over them. He was a constant source of entertainment on those long days of getting things unpacked and set up.
Again, always the helper, this is one of little t’s fave spots these days. He is constantly following us around the kitchen, holding onto our leg and trying to help however he can. It takes about three times as long to get anything done, but you can’t turn down good help these days! When he is no latched onto us he is “cooking” on his own in the pot he has claimed for himself, full of his utensils, measuring cups, bits of cracker, etc. He sits and stirs the pot with a spoon, talking away to himself the whole time. He is also in the no no phase and spends many minutes a day sitting in front of the stove saying “no no no!” and shaking his head at the stove.
Little t was delighted when we put up pictures of family back home in this little nook. He immediately went to work trying to climb up there, so he could get a good look. We have to keep an eye on him because he is climbing on everything these days, which is fine. But like his momma, he does well going up and horrible coming down. The difference between us is that I get stuck and can’t come back down. He, on the other hand, just does a nose-dive and calls is good…this is a fine method is you are going down one small step. Window ledge, a cardboard box, multiple stairs, mom and dad’s bed among others, don’t make such safe nose dive material, however...little t hasn’t quite internalized that nugget of truth.
In his favorite spot, little t all snuggled up to watch a movie. He sits here on the cushions and watches watches watches! My mom couldn’t get over his attention span and it is quite impressive. He usually gets to watch something with I get supper ready or when he is winding down before bed. Last night I put on Happy Feet. His eyes lit up when he saw the penguins come on the screen and he said “oohh”. When the penguins started singing like Elvis, he immediately started scowling and looking very confused at what was going on…he watched for a while, not quite sure what to think of the penguins!
What else is he up to that hasn’t been captured in a picture? He is still a good eater – he has discovered peanut butter and like his father can’t live without it! Especially if he sees A using it, he insists on having it on whatever he is eating. He loves the local bread and eats a substantial amount of it each day. He also likes pancakes with peanut butter and jelly, oatmeal for breakfast, cheese (loves cheese), fruit cocktail, applesauce, chunks of apple, soup and will pretty much try whatever I offer him. He refuses to drink juice but is great about drinking water through the day.
He must be our son because he is a talker! He babbles all day long and always has an opinion on everything. He tries to interrupt A and I while we are talking and will yell at us from across the house. No no no is his favorite right now and he will point to things that are no no (cords, the oven, the birdcage, the heater) and say no no and shake his head. This morning he pulled a puzzle off the shelf and the box fell against the heater and he automatically started saying, no no no! He also is learning to ask for more when he is eating and says either nan nan (bread) or more more when he wants something to eat. He says night night when he is tired. He is always talking about daddy. Most recently he has started wagging his index finger at us as he talks away looking very concerned.
Sleeping has been interesting lately. I put animal pictures from a calendar on the wall of his room above his crib and since he has been refusing to take a morning nap about three mornings a week, he spends that whole time ripping the pictures off the wall. So, a morning nap is hit or miss…he either plays in there for about an hour, cries for a few minutes and falls asleep for about half an hour, or cries hard and won’t go to sleep at all, or falls right asleep and will sleep for about 2 hours. Each day is a mystery as to what he is going to decide to do. In the afternoon he consistently sleeps for an hour and a half or so. The other day I had to wake him up from his afternoon nap and he was really out of it, he looked up at me and said night night and laid his head on my shoulder, obviously not ready to face the world, yet! At night he consistently goes down at 7 and sleeps until 5. I get up and feed him and put him back down and he sleeps until 7. A says I should let him cry to get that out of his system, but I know that there are kids who are up for the day at 5, so I don’t complain that he goes back down…and we are all in one small room, so I don’t want to lay there and listen to him scream. Edit to this – in the recent days since I wrote this, little t is up around somewhere between 12 and 1 at night…he will scream as long as I let him, but I am getting tired of it so go in and nurse him so he will sleep. It is a habit and I am not happy about it, but am not sure what to do at this point. He would cry for well over an hour if I let him. We have moved back into the living room from the bedroom because he knows when we are in there and will not sleep if he senses us in there. So we are tired and slightly frustrated with the sleeping department these days...
Another issue we are having in the sleeping department is Blue Dog, his little blanket. He often tosses/drops him over the side of the crib while his is playing/destroying his room. This is quite the crisis and he gets very upset…but even more upset if he sees me when I go in to rescue Blue Dog for him….so not sure how to handle this one yet. Now, when he is playing and I ask him where Blue Dog is, he scours the house looking for him. He crawls around and looks on the cushions and around his toys. When he finds him, he squeals and crawls as fast as he can to get him…pretty cute.
Well, I could go on and on, but you are probably bored. I will write about the little guy again soon. He is very fun and always up to something exciting!
Side note - The curtains in our house in this post are hideous...I know. It was one of the first things that my mom and I worked on and thankfully they are down and the new ones are much better! Will work on a house post with pictures soon!
And here we are today. I almost can’t even believe that this is the same boy! While he has always been wonderful, A and I are enjoying little t in fresh new ways each day it seems. What is he up to you ask? I thought I would show you in pictures…
Here is the birthday boy – fresh in this crazy country. This was taken the morning of his birthday, our first morning in K-town. What a handsome little man he is! And yes, that wall is pink...
This is at his party later in the guesthouse. Some friends made a cake for him, we sang, had presents, the whole nine yards. He was still pretty tired, so was slightly out of it, but seemed to have a good time.
Little t wanted to help big time with the moving and unpacking…he was constantly into suitcases or boxes; pulling stuff out, dragging it around the room, adding stuff to suitcases and boxes that didn’t belong, or in this case, climbing all over them. He was a constant source of entertainment on those long days of getting things unpacked and set up.
Again, always the helper, this is one of little t’s fave spots these days. He is constantly following us around the kitchen, holding onto our leg and trying to help however he can. It takes about three times as long to get anything done, but you can’t turn down good help these days! When he is no latched onto us he is “cooking” on his own in the pot he has claimed for himself, full of his utensils, measuring cups, bits of cracker, etc. He sits and stirs the pot with a spoon, talking away to himself the whole time. He is also in the no no phase and spends many minutes a day sitting in front of the stove saying “no no no!” and shaking his head at the stove.
Little t was delighted when we put up pictures of family back home in this little nook. He immediately went to work trying to climb up there, so he could get a good look. We have to keep an eye on him because he is climbing on everything these days, which is fine. But like his momma, he does well going up and horrible coming down. The difference between us is that I get stuck and can’t come back down. He, on the other hand, just does a nose-dive and calls is good…this is a fine method is you are going down one small step. Window ledge, a cardboard box, multiple stairs, mom and dad’s bed among others, don’t make such safe nose dive material, however...little t hasn’t quite internalized that nugget of truth.
What else is he up to that hasn’t been captured in a picture? He is still a good eater – he has discovered peanut butter and like his father can’t live without it! Especially if he sees A using it, he insists on having it on whatever he is eating. He loves the local bread and eats a substantial amount of it each day. He also likes pancakes with peanut butter and jelly, oatmeal for breakfast, cheese (loves cheese), fruit cocktail, applesauce, chunks of apple, soup and will pretty much try whatever I offer him. He refuses to drink juice but is great about drinking water through the day.
He must be our son because he is a talker! He babbles all day long and always has an opinion on everything. He tries to interrupt A and I while we are talking and will yell at us from across the house. No no no is his favorite right now and he will point to things that are no no (cords, the oven, the birdcage, the heater) and say no no and shake his head. This morning he pulled a puzzle off the shelf and the box fell against the heater and he automatically started saying, no no no! He also is learning to ask for more when he is eating and says either nan nan (bread) or more more when he wants something to eat. He says night night when he is tired. He is always talking about daddy. Most recently he has started wagging his index finger at us as he talks away looking very concerned.
Sleeping has been interesting lately. I put animal pictures from a calendar on the wall of his room above his crib and since he has been refusing to take a morning nap about three mornings a week, he spends that whole time ripping the pictures off the wall. So, a morning nap is hit or miss…he either plays in there for about an hour, cries for a few minutes and falls asleep for about half an hour, or cries hard and won’t go to sleep at all, or falls right asleep and will sleep for about 2 hours. Each day is a mystery as to what he is going to decide to do. In the afternoon he consistently sleeps for an hour and a half or so. The other day I had to wake him up from his afternoon nap and he was really out of it, he looked up at me and said night night and laid his head on my shoulder, obviously not ready to face the world, yet! At night he consistently goes down at 7 and sleeps until 5. I get up and feed him and put him back down and he sleeps until 7. A says I should let him cry to get that out of his system, but I know that there are kids who are up for the day at 5, so I don’t complain that he goes back down…and we are all in one small room, so I don’t want to lay there and listen to him scream. Edit to this – in the recent days since I wrote this, little t is up around somewhere between 12 and 1 at night…he will scream as long as I let him, but I am getting tired of it so go in and nurse him so he will sleep. It is a habit and I am not happy about it, but am not sure what to do at this point. He would cry for well over an hour if I let him. We have moved back into the living room from the bedroom because he knows when we are in there and will not sleep if he senses us in there. So we are tired and slightly frustrated with the sleeping department these days...
Another issue we are having in the sleeping department is Blue Dog, his little blanket. He often tosses/drops him over the side of the crib while his is playing/destroying his room. This is quite the crisis and he gets very upset…but even more upset if he sees me when I go in to rescue Blue Dog for him….so not sure how to handle this one yet. Now, when he is playing and I ask him where Blue Dog is, he scours the house looking for him. He crawls around and looks on the cushions and around his toys. When he finds him, he squeals and crawls as fast as he can to get him…pretty cute.
Well, I could go on and on, but you are probably bored. I will write about the little guy again soon. He is very fun and always up to something exciting!
Side note - The curtains in our house in this post are hideous...I know. It was one of the first things that my mom and I worked on and thankfully they are down and the new ones are much better! Will work on a house post with pictures soon!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Swimming in a Sea of Blue
Walk down any street in M-ville and you are likely to see a billow of blue fabric in front of you. We have quickly become accustomed to it, but at first, it makes one take a second glance. M-ville is much more conservative than Lal (our previous location) and every local woman here wears the full blue burka when out in public. So the bazaars (especially on a Friday afternoon – Lady’s Shopping Day) are a mass of blue fabric moving down the street from one shop to another. It depends on the time of day, whether there are men in the street, etc, but occasionally you will see these women resting the front of the covering on the top of their heads so that their faces show. Other times, they have it pulled down and the only way they see is through the small screen (about the size of a playing card) that is cut out of the front.
A few days ago I found myself at the back of a fabric shop slipping a burka over my head. I remember as the fabric fell over my face thinking, “I can’t believe I am really doing this.” But it seems like that has become the story of my life, so I continued on with the shopping experience – asking A (with my back turned to him and the street and the shopkeeper) if he thought it fit well. It was so awkward that I wasn’t quite ready to turn around and have my husband see me in such a state. Let’s be honest, neither of us had any idea how they fit, but we tried to sound like we knew what we were talking about. . Outside the shop, quite a crowd of young men had gathered and stood around to watch the foreigner pretend like she knew what she was doing. In the end, we both sort of chickened out and decided that we would consult other foreign women we work with before buying one. So we left the shop without the blue tent.
I know, I know what you are thinking…and just a few days ago, I was in the same boat, “why stoop so low as to wear that thing, especially if you are working for rights and peace and stability for the women of this country…isn’t donning the burka yourself counter-productive to that work???”
As with most issues in this crazy country, this one becomes more complex the longer your wrestle with it. It is easy for we as outsiders to quickly judge what we think the solution to things like this are. From the outside, it looks like every woman in a burka is oppressed and has no say in the matter. It may look like she is trapped in that very small blue prison. For some women, this is certainly the case – they feel trapped inside this gigantic piece of cloth. Usually they are mired down by a lot more in life and the burka just happens to be the icing on the cake.
Like many things in this crazy country, you have to find the silver lining amongst a very large sky of dark clouds. While it seems obvious to assume that the burka is confining and restricting, to some, very possibly to many, the burka means freedom. It is their outlet, their saving grace in a stifling world run by men and ruled by shame and gossip. I haven’t been here long enough to say with 100% certainty, but it seems like a women who has reached puberty, or has gotten married (sadly those are usually similar ages in this place) doesn’t dare be caught out in public without the burka. Where is the silver lining you ask? In the fact that the streets (especially on Friday afternoon) are full of women. That they are able to go out and shop, visit friends and relatives, set foot outside the confines of their mud houses and small dusty yards. For the women who work for us, it means they are able to come to work and earn a living. Refusing to wear the covering would leave them stranded at home, quite possibly by the order of their husband. If he didn’t care enough to not let them out without their burka, the shame that would come upon their family and the gossip that would spread like wildfire, is certainly enough to cause these educated, well trained and highly intelligent women to wear it. It also gives them the ability to travel to villages and do their work. There is no way it would be safe for them to travel without it, and even if they did, they would have no credibility in the village if they showed up without it. See, it is all about outward appearances here, my friend. If a man saw a woman without it on…or even heard about it, she is automatically deemed a ‘loose’ woman with no shame, no values, etc. So, to have any effect in their work, the female staff must wear it. Basically if a woman wants to survive in this society at all, she wears it.
So again back to the question; “why be stuck in that thing?” In this culture and society at this stage of history, survival is of utmost importance. For some it means being able to leave the house to gain a living for their family. For others, it means being able to study. Like I said earlier, women are able to go visit family and friends, shop, go out in public, etc. Our bra-burning, entitled and emancipated society feels like something must be one about this on a grand scale and to some extent it would be nice if it could happen that way. But it won’t. Baby steps are vital in this situation. A bunch of women deciding overnight to burn their burkas would only lead to mass chaos and not in a good way. Hearts and minds must change before attitudes and actions. So for now, we deal with the reality of life here. Women wear burkas…and are able to go shopping, visiting and to work because of it.
I am thankful in some ways that I am an oddity in this culture. It is not required of me at this time to wear the burka. I can get away with wearing the long black cloak that is seen in much of the arab world and I cover my head with a scarf. So why did I look at burkas last week? And why did I return to purchase on a few days ago? Because I too want freedom in this place. I can go shopping, but it always comes with stares, comments and usually more pressure than I would like. If I am with Andy it is fine, we get stared at, but I am with a man, so it isn’t as intense. If I am only with another woman or a group of women, we tend to draw a crowd wherever we go. So, with the burka (and without my red haired, blue eyed child) I would fit in a lot more. More importantly, I got it for security. If security would happen to deteriorate (which we are hoping doesn’t happen, obviously, and don’t think it will in the near future) and we had to quickly ‘get out of Dodge’ it would be much safer to travel with the burka on than without. So, basically I got it to have, just in case.
I returned with a friend a few days later to pick out my blue tent…or rather have it be picked out for me. We went to a shop with a room in the back where you try them on. Ironically the blue light in the room made it extremely hard for your eyes to adjust as it bounced off four walls of blue burkas. Thankfully, a young guy (about 17) who works in the shop has the gift of knowing exactly which burka will fit his customer. He pulled a few down as suggestions and I found the one that was the most comfortable for me. The (very fashionably dressed) shopkeeper boy gave me a lesson on how to put on and take off the burka – by demonstrating himself. After thanking him and paying, we were out of there.
So, here I sit, drinking coffee in my toasty little living room wearing sweats and a sweatshirt writing about burkas and thinking about the future. Do I have a dream that one day all of the women from this land will be able to throw it off and run with their wind in their hair through these dusty streets? Yes and no. Yes, because I think from my perspective and cultural background that that is the ultimate sign freedom. But no, because it will take a million years and a million miracles for that to be seen as a positive thing for the women of this land, even by those women themselves. It’s about baby steps, remember? Here, freedom is about being able to read and write, about having a say in when and whom you marry, about being trusted with money and responsibility within your family. Freedom is reflected in women who aren’t enslaved to having a child every year because they learn to know their bodies. Freedom comes with learning how to break the cycle of maternal and infant death through hygiene and safe birthing practices. Freedom is seen in a healthy family and the absence of domestic violence. Freedom brings hope and healing to hearts and minds through the Father’s saving grace. It has nothing to do with wearing a piece of cloth or burning it in defiance. Because truly “man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
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