Embracing

It is the middle of the night and I can't sleep. Thankfully, even during pregnancy, this is quite a rare occurrence for me.  The boys are up in their beds slumbering away. I figured I would move to the couch instead of tossing and turning next to someone else.

I know it sounds cliche, but I am trying to soak in this time before the baby comes.  Don't get me wrong, I am crazy excited to meet this new little person and can't wait to have him/her in my arms. But I am more and more aware of the sweetness of our family as it is and the fact that it will change.  Little t talks about the baby all the time and asks every day if the baby will come out today. For now, he seems excited at meeting his new sibling.  Maybe it is the stage he is in; explosions of new language every day, his (hilarious) personality developing, him being a little person more and more, and growing up right before my very eyes. Whatever it is, part of me is scared that I will miss those things once I am consumed with a new and very helpless little being.  And that makes me sad.  I know it is the way it works and I know that Little t will do great, but the emotional pregnant part of me wants to keep things the way they are AND have the new baby.  If only...

I feel like right now God is teaching me a lot about embracing what I have and where I am at in life.

Embracing the strong-willed two year old and all of the joys and challenges that come with him becoming his own person.

Embracing this new and scary adventure of adding another little person to our lives - the balance of time and energy and love and patience...the lack of sleep and privacy and control.

He is calling me to embrace the need and value of time spent with Him, even in the chaos of these days. In the last few months, I have really been making an effort to do that every day. It is good and I have been deeply challenged by how much I crave and need that time.

I am learning to embrace the beauty and simplicity with which A.P. serves and loves me.  I don't know what I would do without that man. In these days of he steps in more than ever and I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

I am challenged to embrace myself for who I am and where God has me right now. A woman who is 37 weeks pregnant...still in decent shape but sometimes frustrated with the large and lumbering state of my body.

I am learning to embrace God's timing in so many ways.  I never experienced getting antsy in pregnancy with Little t...he was born early and it was all a whirlwind. But I find myself ready and slightly itchy these days. I have to  remember that God's timing is perfect and the baby will come in time.

I also have to remember not to stress about the future...but to remember that He knows the hairs on my head and the plans He has for me.  When we first came home, I stressed about what would happen come the fall. I worried we wouldn't be able to go back, or something would go wrong, or...  And God very clearly said, "just rest and wait."  I have been learning what that means every day.  In these days of nesting, I want badly to have my ducks in a row, but am reminded that I can't control the past or future and can only trust that God's ways are best.

So, these days, I am learning to embrace the simple joys of life.  I will try to sleep now because I know that my nights of actually getting any are numbered...I am trying to embrace that fact as well...this baby better be cute to make up for it!