To my sweet baby: In my momma heart, you fill me with so much joy already and I have yet to see your face. It has been nine of months and I still can’t fathom the wonder of you. The bumps and kicks that keep me up at night are you. The jabs remind me of your little life. Your stretches against my side make my heart swell. On this day when I am antsy and feeling large, I am desperate to meet you. I want you in my arms. I want to smell your skin and stoke your silky hair. I long to touch your cheeks and count your toes. It still hasn’t fully set in…and won’t until you are with us, I’m sure, but my momma heart aches to meet you.
To my precious boy: My momma heart is frantically trying to come up with a way to bottle up who you are right now and keep you that way forever. I have said that at various times because each stage is so fun and so new. But this one is golden. Your infectious laugh, the sparkle in your eye. Your crazy stories and and wild sense of humor. I relish the way you can’t hold back your love for music. Try as you might, when you hear a beat you have to dance/drum/sing/bob your head to it. Your friendship with your daddy and the way you can captivate a room with your dynamic personality, it just makes me grin. There are bumps along the way and days where we butt heads, but we grow through it and in the end, I find I love you even more.
To babies around the world: My momma heart grieves for those of you who are lost and hurting, who have never known the loving embrace of the woman who carried you in her womb. I wish desperately for you that a family and safety and stability would be yours. I feel guilty to be so blessed and happy when I know that you suffer and are lonely. My momma heart rings with the theme, ‘if only’. If only I could scoop you all up and take away all of your hurts and fears and sadness. If only there was a momma for each of you. If only the world wasn’t such a hard place.
To my Jesus: My momma heart wants so badly to love out of you. To be patient and loving to those you have entrusted to me. To help them learn to walk in your ways. To model your truth and beauty to little eyes that watch so intently. To be Jesus to the lost and hurting. Please teach me. Please use me. Touch those who are far from my reach. Come Jesus and make us all whole.