Normal?

Today was another crazy day just like the rest of them…supposed to have a guest for breakfast and then didn’t.  Tried to go to a mom’s pra.yer meeting and then left early because Little t and I couldn’t handle it.  Did the lunch thing and the nap thing. Weeded in the garden, played outside, visited a friend, did the supper thing and put the kid to bed.  Now, catching up on e-mail and news…pondering the day’s big news and what it means for our future in this place that we love, but hold loosely because of the events of the world that seem to spiral more and more out of control each day. 

I read a blog post the other day by a (in my estimation) super-mom. 7 kids, homeschooling, amazing cook, blah blah blah.  She was talking about how sometimes she struggles with having such a normal life and wishing that she could do more for God.  She talked about wishing that she should have the ‘glamorous life’ of doing ministry overseas. She strove to be settled and thankful for her place in life and what God was calling her to, but illusions of grandeur dripped from her writing. 

I wanted to reach through the computer and shake her.  Or at least pull her out and show her that glamorous isn’t to be found…at least not here.  I struggle with this picture to be honest.  It is hard to be normal in this part of the world.  When you have to adapt to a different environment, language, culture, religion, etc. every day is a constant learning ground for how to navigate in a healthy and effective manner. 

It is even harder to seem normal when the pedestal that we are put on by some people back home is so high. I am human. I have dirty dishes sitting on my counter, a washer full of clothes (because the electricity went off 10 minutes after it filled first thing this morning), I am dirty from weeding the garden and cranky from wrestling my beautiful son all day long. The last few days have held lots of negative comments and bad attitudes about life and work and our teammates here. I didn’t crack open my Bi.ble today and my time in pra.yer has been far too short.  Please don’t make more of me than I am.

And I struggle with that, some days.  I struggle with wanting to do the mundane, wanting to go the easy route, longing for a break from the constant work that is life in this place, and from the preconceived notions that I am any better than the next person for doing what I do. 

So, all of this to say, we are not glamorous, we are just weak broken people who feel humbled and overwhelmed grateful that we are called to be (very imperfectly and unglamorously) in the trenches in this place.