One of the most difficult things we had to deal with while in Lal was the saga of Solomon and Shannon. We knew virtually no language, had minimal cultural understanding and no credibility in the setting (we were young and new…and knew nothing!). Even though it seemed like the cards in this situation were stacked against us, we knew that we couldn’t let this slip by. Here is their story:
Enter Solomon. He is at least 20 years older than Shannon. He has a first wife who is beautiful and kind and humble. (She has little education and is quite ‘village-y’, but is a good woman). He has 4 of the cutest kids in Lal. He has a beautiful house and good work.
Solomon is one of the wealthiest men in Lal and comes from one of the wealthiest families in the district. He owns a successful shop in the bazaar and at least one gas station in town. Two of his brothers own shops in town as well. The family has a truck that one brother drives and they hire it out to ship things to and from the capital city. They have several animals, and other means of capital. Solomon also works for our organization in the development project. Solomon has two wives and numerous children. He considers himself quite handsome and has a slight arrogance issue. Any similarities between him and the Solomon in the Bib.le?
The difference between our friend Sol and the King is that our friend isn’t quite as bright. He is competent, but has not hit the wisdom jackpot, that is for sure!
Shannon is Solomon’s second wife and she has both beauty and brains. She is young and beautiful (and also aware of it…there is no lack of vanity in this family) and very very smart. She has worked for our NGO for quite a while and is trained as a nurse, a midwife, and a development worker. Shannon is not afraid to speak her mind and can be quite manipulative. Where Solomon is quiet and somewhat sneaky, Shannon is a force to be reckoned and leaves no secrets when it comes to what she is thinking.
The first time Shannon was married, she was married off by her half brother (from her father’s second wife) after her father died when she was 14 or 15. It was a way of getting her out of the house so that the half-brother could have full control…and make a little money in the process. She went from living in Lal, going to school, working in the clinic and having many friends to being isolated in an obscure little village, married to someone she didn’t know and suffering the abuse of a jealous and possessive mother-in-law. Life was miserable for Shannon. So much so that she got quite ill and went to great lengths to end her marriage. Eventually, by some stroke of luck, she was able to get a divorce (one of the only women I have ever heard of in this place who has).
She went back to living with her mother (whom the cruel brother-in-law had kicked out), going to school and working. The whole community knew about her tainted image and whispers followed her wherever she went, but outwardly, she shook it off and went on with life.
Eight years later:
Solomon and Shannon work together and catch each other’s eye. Sparks start to fly and pretty soon an affair has started. Solomon begins to visit Shannon’s house. They steal quiet moments away together at work. They both show up to work late. They sit by each other in vehicles when all of the other workers segregate by gender. They hold hands in the vehicle and Shannon lays her head on Solomon’s shoulder. They close the door to a room when they are the only two in it.
I wish I could put into words the seriousness that these actions have in this culture. It is just so BEYOND appropriate in this culture to put yourself in this situation…and yet they did, over and over. They unashamedly would lock themselves in a room together so they could talk – in this place where it looks REALLY bad if an unrelated man and woman are in the same room.
So, by the time we arrived on the scene, rumors were flying, lies were spewing, villagers were boycotting them and all kinds of craziness was taking place. The other foreigners that we worked with were aware of the situation, but had done nothing about it. One said that she believed that Solomon was a follower of Je.sus and was just trying to reach out to and/or disciple Shannon. Right.
So, we tried to ignore the issue for a while, but it was glaringly obvious that something had to be done. We would go on trips to the village and they would disappear. Villagers would voice their concerns over things they had seen and refuse to let their daughters come to meetings because “they” would be there. Solomon snuck into the women’s sleeping room one night. They snuck out together another. They paid no attention in meetings or training, only stared and whispered at each other. Something had to give.
We met with them privately and basically told them to knock it off. First they played dumb, then they made excuses. Then they laughed in our faces. They tried to tell us that the fact that they had gotten engaged a few months prior made their actions excusable…although it was said in a way that we all knew that wasn’t the case.
Long long story short-ish…things didn’t change for quite a while, even though we kept warning that we were going to lay down the law. We warned that we were going to separate them (the team they worked on was splitting into two teams) and they made a few threats. Shannon begged and pleaded that she couldn’t travel alone…that she needed to have a guardian with her to kiss to look good in the community. We pointed out, though it didn’t need to be said, that she had traveled all over the country by herself and had recently done a lot more than traveling alone to bring her shame.
Eventually, we had to separate them. They were sneaking out more and more. More people were raising concerns. Our name and reputation as an organization was on the line and we couldn’t let it go on.
They were separated in their work right around the time they got married. They have both continued their work and the gossip has died down. I could be ignorant, but I never heard one negative comment about Shannon traveling without her male companion (our other two female staff didn’t have men travel with them…so they were all equal in the end) from villagers or other people.
We did get a lot of appreciation from people in the community for standing up to them. People knew that they were both powerful and wealthy. It was also no secret that they had perfected the tactic of throwing their weight around. But we knew that we couldn’t let it go…and in the end it was better for everyone.
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| Shannon (in the middle) with friends on her wedding day |
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| Solomon and Shannon during their wedding party |
It was a long time after their jobs were separated before Shannon would warm up to us again. She had been hurt so much in her life and had many issues. Even though she came across as strong and manipulative, she was desperate for love and attention and affirmation. She is very soft on the inside.
Solomon and Shannon have two kids now and are still working with the organization. We will see them in November when we visit Lal and are looking forward to it. We hope and pr.ay that indeed their hearts have been moved by the Holy Spirit as our teammate suggested and that fruit will come out of that.
Please pr.ay for Solomon and Shannon and their family. Pr.ay that the seeds that have been planted through their extensive exposure to Believers would take root. Please also pr.ay for others in Lal, that the act of standing up for what was right would speak volumes to people there.
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