This morning I feel like the roles are reversed - like I am the mom and that lady on the plane towards kbl is my daughter...I keep thinking of things I should have told her, warned her about, reminded her of... My heart is sad that she is gone, though happy she is on her way home where she belongs. Having my mom here for the first month has been a joy.
When we first talked about having someone come with us for the first month to help out with little t as we settled into life here in this crazy place, we were slightly nervous about it. I mean, it would have been a huge help and was a great idea, but this isn't exactly like...any other place in the world. There are a lot of things here that are hard for people to "get"...that are hard for us to get sometimes...so it was kinda scary to think about bringing someone new (two new someones if you count little t) into that situation.
But we were so pleasantly surprised and blessed with how well Mom did with everything really...she was so patient with us and little t, so helpful, so cheerful, so ready and willing to learn, but yet wasn't freaked out by some of the hard realities of life here that she learned.
It was so great to have someone see what life is like for us and be able to grasp what we are talking about. Someone who now knows the complexity of the situation, yet sees that life carries on at a level of normal (not completely, but we get quickly bored with completely normal!). We are so thankful for this time to have a little bit of "home" here with us in this place.
I can't think too much about her without tears welling up, and I am sure it will be that way for a few days....funny side story: Mom stayed with us for about a month after little t was born and helped out. We were a complete mess and weren't handling things well by ourselves, so she stayed and saved us. She did the dishes, cooking, normal stuff as we sat there like zombies with this tiny, slightly difficult baby. We were staying at A's grandparent's house and they have these drinking glasses with butterflies on them. A, Mom and I each had a specific glass and knew it was ours by the butterfly on it. After Mom left, I couldn't look at "her" glass for quite a few days without crying...they were bittersweet tears - so immensely thankful for all that she had done for us, yet so sad that she was gone.
So, I sit here again, teary as I think about the last month. It has been a very good month. There were days and times that weren't easy or perfect, but for the most part it has been good. We are excited about life in this place, thankful for the hand of the Father that continues to lead and guide in very real and good ways. We are happy to be here as a family, there is such joy in the simple things these days. We are humbled by the tasks before us; the challenges of life, the hardness of hearts, the big things that we as a team feel the Father wants to do in this place, and we are at peace with life here.
So, we move on, wishing there was a way that we could soak in the time with family more often, but so thankful for the love and memories that we treasure from the last year and wait in anticipation for more to come.
[sigh]
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